Over the last few weeks a lot of people have come forward and posted stories of abuse while they were JWs. These often were experiences as a child victim or a wife at the hands of an abusive husband. The forums are open to active JWs and those who have left. For many' disclosing their history was a first and I read a lot of support offered to them. Now that the tidal wave of disclosures are ebbing many may be wondering how to deal with the pain and anger they feel. For some who have been here for a while or have been in counseling support may not be a big issue. Many who have been here for a while have built a support network with the friends they have made here. But so many new ones have come in. Further discussion of their experiences may be scary especially on an open discussion forum. The support here is amazing but it isn't private. For those who do feel wary about posting but still could use some support I have set up a couple of discussion forums. The forums are closed. People wishing to participate in the forums need to contact me for a password to gain access to these forums. One forum addresses the needs of abused wives. The second forum addresses the needs of abused children. This would include sexual and physical abuse as well as emotional abuse There is a third forum for those who suffer from dissociative disorders as a result of being abused in the WTS. These forums are for mutual support and are not meant to substitute good professional counseling. Individuals may be members of one some or all of the forums depending on their needs and experiences. Please feel free to contact me at [email protected] for more information about how to get into these forums.
Lady Lee
JoinedPosts by Lady Lee
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Support forum for those abused in WTS
by Lady Lee inover the last few weeks a lot of people have come forward and posted stories of abuse while they were jws.
these often were experiences as a child victim or a wife at the hands of an abusive husband.
the forums are open to active jws and those who have left.
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50 years today
by Lady Lee ini am 50 years old today.
the world is a very different place from the one i was born into.
i have been witness to the beginnings of television and the explosion in communications; cell phones and computers.
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Lady Lee
Back to the serious stuff
I have been out of the borg for 17 years now. My first contact with them was way back in 1963. In the interveneing years the WT has grown phenominally. But so have the failed prophesies, the cover-ups and lying to protect themselves and the scandals that are breaking into the media with more to come. They will call it persecution blindly avoiding seeing that justice demands its due. The leadership will refuse to bow to public pressure and will maintain that they are still God's chosen although imperfect. True followers will hold to the party line and close their eyes and hearts to goodness and justice.
But... many will leave. And fewer will join. We can thank the internet for that and all those individuals who took one step in another direction. That one step freed them from the WT slavery. Years ago those who left were on their own. No JWs to talk to and no outsiders they knew for support. The internet changes that. Those who have left are talking to others who have left. Individually each has taken that step in a new direction. Together they will create a wave of discontent that will demand goodness and justice from an organization that proclaims itself God's only true religion. The recovery movement for ex-JWs has started and it is gaining new members every day.
Some days I feel a lot of anger towards the WT org. And it is well deserved. Sometimes I forget who is to blame and throw my anger at the individuals who as just as caught as I once was. That is not good or just. I work on tempering that anger and making sure it is directed towards those who deserve it. The puppet-masters themselves and their lawyers too at this point.
In the end I doubt any one person will bring the WT down. Not even a group or the loud cry of the victims themselves. That just is not the way abusers either as individuals or as a group function. They will continue to be and do what they have always been - secret holders and liars. They will not change.
But if I share my story and you share yours and the next person shares theirs eventually the individuals will leave and be freed. One by one on the outside helping one by one on the inside
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50 years today
by Lady Lee ini am 50 years old today.
the world is a very different place from the one i was born into.
i have been witness to the beginnings of television and the explosion in communications; cell phones and computers.
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Lady Lee
Waiting email sent
and if you keep this up I will soon be older than you
and happy birthday to all the rest of you who are turning 50 this year
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Kid's Names
by StinkyPantz inthis is really dumb but i'm gonna ask it anyway.
well, i am in a bi-racial relationship.
my husband is white and i am black.
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Lady Lee
My old job had a fellow (black) named Precious. He liked the name but it sure caused him a lot of trouble. He worked at a shelter for the homeless - many of them substance abusers. They really gave him a hard time. I suspect that throughout his life a lot of people gave him a hard time because of his name. He started work with a chip on his shoulder and demanded that people respect him. The name plus the attitude made it hard to do that
I married an Italian the first time around - I am Canadian. OK both white but when the first one was born we were english speaking in a french cong with Ital. grandparents. We needed a name that everyone could pronounce First one was named Dina Lorraine
By the time the second was born I had a boy's name picked out but no girl's name. When she was born we scrambled to find a name that suited her. Hubby wanted Daisy. I said "No Way!!! That is what my mother named her cow when she was young!" She got Erica Lynn
When my granddaughter was born my daughter decided on Amanda Lynn - very pretty....... until you say it very fast several times Amanda Lynn Amanda Lynn a mandolin Nope that ain't gonna work so she found another name instead of the Lynn part
Lessons:
All kids will tease other kids - no point in giving them a name that gives them a really obvious reason to do that plus adds a burden to them
Make it simple and easy to spell and pronouce
Check the initials - what do they spell?
Say the entire name - together - How does that sound?
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50 years today
by Lady Lee ini am 50 years old today.
the world is a very different place from the one i was born into.
i have been witness to the beginnings of television and the explosion in communications; cell phones and computers.
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Lady Lee
Thanks for the good wishes I do appreciate it as well as the wishes in the thread for that
Getting to 50 is an accomplishment. So many never made it out of the borg. I just read the post of a young man committing suicide. It reminds me of my aunt who drowned because she could not handle the abuse in her young life and the shame from the borg.
Suzanne would be 50 this year too. She was 6 weeks older than me. She died when we were 12.
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SUICIDE IN KH PARKING LOT
by Sabine inlast saturday, a former ministerial servant and pioneer committed suicide in the woodinville washington kingdom hall parking lot.
he was disfellowshipped several years ago, and according to the old sister that related the story to me today, he was depressed because no one would talk to him.
i don't know how i kept calm when she explained to me that "we couldn't talk to him...he was disfellowshipped.".
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Lady Lee
What to say - tragic is all and so unnecessary (((Sabine)))
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50 years today
by Lady Lee ini am 50 years old today.
the world is a very different place from the one i was born into.
i have been witness to the beginnings of television and the explosion in communications; cell phones and computers.
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Lady Lee
50
I am 50 years old today. The world is a very different place from the one I was born into.
I have been witness to the beginnings of television and the explosion in communications; cell phones and computers. Man has gone into space and landed on the moon and seen the world from a perspective that has never occurred before in the history of humankind. We now have remote controls and microwave ovens, Velcro and Teflon, pantyhose, credit cards and digital everything.
Over the last 50 years medicine has seen major progress in some areas, the end of polio, test-tube babies, genetics and cloning. We have implants for the deaf and the blind and for heart patients. Medications are administered frequently with a patch on the skin. We have laser surgery and CAT scans and the Pill. We also have AIDS.
I have seen the changes brought about by the sexual revolution, the Womens Movement, Black Rights and Aboriginal Rights. I watched in horror when the Kennedys and King were assassinated. I grew up in the age of the Elvis and the Beatles and Rock and Roll. I was witness to the Vietnam war and the 9-11 disaster.
All of these have had major impacts on the way we live today. It is indeed a very different world from the one I was born into.
One other change that has occurred in the world that hits close to home for me is the Recovery Movement. I have been involved both professionally and personally. When I was young problems in the family were a secret. One never spoke about alcoholism or wife beating or sexual abuse and rape. Parents quietly warned children of the dangers of the men in cars offering candy and to watch out for "Uncle" but never really said why. Family problems were whispered about and kept hidden from outsiders. People who went for therapy were obviously sick and no one would admit they had to seek counseling.
Yes the world is a different place. Thousands of victims of abuse have come forward. They have spoken out about the betrayal of trust and the hurt imposed upon them. As a result the world has been forced to acknowledge the problem and deal with it. A wide variety of support groups exist as one method for survivors to get the help they need. AA, NA, ACOA, GA. OEA, ASOAA, therapy groups and individual counseling and on and on. It is no longer shameful to admit that you have been hurt. It is no longer shameful to get the help you need. And it is no longer shameful to talk about it.
As little as 15 years ago when I started this journey of recovery people would shrink back when I mentioned abuse. Now I most likely get the response "Me too." In a way it is sad there are so many of us.
But there is power and strength in numbers. Every change in society starts with one person, one idea, one small change in a new direction. Collectively we can do what one cannot do alone. But each one must take that step in a new direction. That is what got us to the moon. That is what will help us create a safer world for the future
Edited by - Lady Lee on 15 June 2002 9:38:42
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Giving thanks in restaurants!
by Beck_Melbourne inwhen i was in dub-dom....i used to hate eating out....my ex always made us bow our heads and close our eyes tight shut while he gave thanks out loud.
did you do that in public??
or did you do it discreetly with your head bowed but eyes not shut....or.....head in hand...hoping people would think u were in deep thought?
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Lady Lee
orangefatcat
are you my kid?
My ex would do it in the car before we went into the restaurant.
He would also pray when we got in the car to go to an assembly/convention
I hated the showy display of some - no reason not to be discrete - God knows when you are thanking him and that is the only one who counts
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Trying to Get CBS & Ed Bradley Interested
by Nanoprobe insomeone posted an idea on silentlambs that i think might be worth a try.
60 minutes ii and ed bradley are doing a series of stories on catholic priests and sex abuse.
on every story page there is a little email opinion box..church on trial.
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Lady Lee
Ain't gonna happen. They just would never put themselves in the public light that way - even they know that to do so would expose them for what they are
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Surviving the Hearing to DF Me.
by Sentinel ini must say that reading all these posts have really brought back so many memories for me.
i had a terrible experience at my hearing, which i believe now, really bordered on sexual abuse of the mental kind.. our congregation was small.
this was difficult for the few young people that attended.
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Lady Lee
Seems the elders are like that everywhere. I was raped and got the same inquisition. Unbelievable that they can call this loving counsel
Sorry that happened to you Sentinel - just know you are not alone and you do not need to feel ashamed